All my maps will only show me how to lose my way

So one of the downsides of the apartment complex I live in is the super crappy, tiny gym. No apartment complex that houses A&M students needs a good gym - the university has an awesome one. The only problem is non-students need to pay a hefty fee to use it. So I've been terrible about going to the gym since moving here. I've forced myself to go to the tiny gym a few times, but the only equipment that works is the treadmill. I have a love/hate relationship with treadmills.

Running is something I was decent at as a child. Obviously playing years of soccer kept me in enough shape to run short distance, and survive the mile every year in school gym with a pretty damn good time. Long distance running, on the other hand, I've always hated. I had it stuck in my head pretty early on that I was unable to run long distances for various reasons. The first was sports-induced asthma. Basically the longer the physical activity, the less lung capacity I have. The second was my sorry attempt at cross-country senior year of high school. Due to my fear of long distance due to said asthma, as well as my laziness in practicing (I did not run on my own nearly as much as I should have... ), I quickly dropped the team with excuses and little guilt.

So ever since when it came to going to the gym in college, I avoided the treadmill. Running for a long period of time just didn't work for me. Unfortunately now it is the only option I have until I suck it up and pay for A&M's gym, or until I find a gym membership in town I like. Thankfully it all worked out today.

I finally forced myself to suck up my anxiety and use the treadmill. Sure, I didn't meet my "12 years old and play soccer constantly" expectations, but I was surprised how easy it was for me to just run for a long period of time. I think with some work and goal setting I could easily go back to being a runner.

... So yeah, that was the point of this post. :)

In other news, I did quit Hobby Lobby. It was a smart move. I now have time to work part-time at Kohl's and substitute teach 2 to 4 times a week. Money is a little tight right now because I had to buy plane tickets for the trip home in December, but I'll recover in a week or two. Speaking of, I will be in New Jersey from December 23rd to January 9th. I believe that will give me ample time to see all of you wonderful people. I won't have a car, but I'll work around that and gladly bum rides.

The Thanksgiving test run went really well last night. Andrew and I successfully made an awesome turkey. We've both noticed our cooking skills have increased quite a bit over the past few months. Guess Texas is good for something.

More later, if I remember to keep up with posting.

Syler (my sewing machine, named such thanks to a certain person) stopped working yesterday. Getting it fix before Halloween is not an option and I have a costume half done, plus fabric I paid decent money for.

Good thing we need to buy an iron. Stitch Witchery/Heat Bond will be the short term solution. Still bummed about it though. :/

I had a fantastic time back in Gettysburg these past few days. Also came across numerous conclusions to various thought trains I had previously derailed due to a lack of reflection time. The academic rant will be long winded and friend-locked, but I can sum up the other few nicely right here.

1) I'm quitting Hobby Lobby. Surprisingly, my mother was the one who said I need to stop doing this impossible work schedule, focus more on subbing/making connections in the district, and be happier. So I'm giving two week notice when I go back tomorrow. Sure, it means a small pay hit, but I'm thinking the more time to sub (which, despite only paying 60 dollars a day, actually pays more than more than my retail jobs. I just tend to work longer at said retail jobs) will help balance that out. I've been playing with the idea for awhile now, and it was just nice to hear my own parent tell me that she's been in that situation before and understands how much it sucks to get a concrete schedule when both jobs are so wishy-washy about hours. So yeah. I feel a little more comfortable with the decision because it will give me some more flexibility with my schedule, as well as time to start thinking about education jobs again... Speaking of.

2) I'm applying for Texas certification this week. Guess that makes it official or something. I'm also going to start the job search again and begin applying to positions back home, in PA, and MD. Obviously I'd rather Texas right now, but the goal is to be teaching no matter where the job may be. I'm not looking forward to starting the job search process again, but I believe with the better schedule and less work stress I'll be able to focus a little bit.

3) It is time to start researching grad schools and consider the program I want for my masters, even if I still want to wait a year or two. I know what kind of program I want and I know I want to go, but I haven't actually done a lot in the research department. So that needs to be fixed. I've realized I do miss being a student of a subject I love, despite the bitterness and resentment I hold towards certain Gettysburg programs, so I'd like to think about that sooner rather than later.

4) Desperately need to travel and see people. This weekend was a reminder of why I need to work on this. I'm already pretty bummed about Thanksgiving, with the high costs and work schedule, but now I'm all the more determined to get a decent chunk of time off for Christmas. And make sure I buy tickets before the prices jump.

So yeah. That's the short version. I also still need a Halloween costume idea, much to my displeasure. I have two ideas I like, but require a lot of making/sewing/time.... And its the 20th. When did that happen?

It is so nice being home for a few days. :)

Currently in Maryland with the sister, and I'm off to Gettysburg in a little bit.

Sooooo happy I'm getting a few days if chilly Fall weather (despite the rain) and changing leaves. And I cannot wait to see a bunch of lovely people that I've missed dearly. :)

To all my Jersey friends -- I will be home home in December. Unfortunately with work and without a car I was unable to make it to NJ for a day or two. If you really feel like driving a few hours I'll be more than happy to see you, but if nothing else I'll be back for the holidays.

Me: "Hello, how are you today?"
Customer: *Stares for a few seconds.* "... Are you from America?"
Me: ".... Yes. I'm from New Jersey."
Customer: "Oh! I thought you were German or somethin', talkin' like that."



Ahhh, adventures from work.


Hi LJ. I'll post real soon.

Last night was loads of fun.

I'm going to miss you crazy kids. :)

Is it next week yet?

While I appreciate my mother's concerns, I do not need to hear them every other sentence as soon as she gets home and until she goes to bed.

ARG.

Why did this have to go and get frustrating?


(Anyone who thinks they can offer sound advice -- please IM or call me. I need people to bounce some ideas off of regarding my immediate future.)

So the emotional status over the job search has changed again to depressed.

I hate my personal standards sometimes.

I am back in NJ until further notice!

Also, I owe you all a huge update which will be up as soon as I'm done messing with job stuff today.

... Who knew so many schools would be posting job openings in August? XD My last hope for an education job this fall is based on desperation. Win.

Love to you all who I have not spoken to recently, and any of you in NJ want to catch up let me know.

I left Gettysburg in a terrible mood today, but the breath-taking storm I got to drive in changed my attitude.

Wish me luck - the interview is tomorrow morning. It is in Livingston, N.J., which is up north in the nice wealthy parts. I've been sitting here since I got home piecing my portfolio back together, correcting things, printing documents, and preparing information for said interview. I'm not really nervous, but the fact that one of my old high school teachers is on the interview committee is slightly nerve-inducing. 

I know there is still some time to hear from other places, but I have a gut-feeling this is it. So here's to hoping?

I'll be back in Gettysburg tomorrow afternoon for work. I officially leave Gettysburg July 29th, but I won't be in NJ till August 11th.

... I owe some of you a very long, big post about what the heck is going on with life right now. Sorry I've been so lax about updating - the work schedule was a little killer this summer if you haven't noticed. However that will all be over with Wednesday! :D

Also - driving from Gettysburg to NJ like a sane person sucked, but it wasn't as stressful as I imagined it would be. In fact, cruising along at a reasonable person speed gave me more opportunity to enjoy the storm and not flip out over "slow" drivers. Maybe I can correct the speed-demon habits after all.

I got a job interview!


:D

I'm starting to freak out over the job search.

So today is a surprise!productive day. Haven't gotten out any more applications yet, but I am cleaning every inch of my room, going to the bank, checking mail, and got my annual exam done this morning. And it was free. Who knew there was a perk to lacking real insurance? Anyway, taking a quick break to finish another application and switch my laundry. I'm also debating starting a new sewing project, but that tends to make a mess.

Sorry, productivity has been rare lately thanks to working constantly. The only thing I've had time for besides sleeping is getting out application after application. The count is over 20! Still have a long list to go, and more due dates are coming up now.

Hello July. When did you get here?

Back to being productive.

So this week has taken a turn for the better.

My official certification came in the mail. Finally. And I found tatting shuttles.

:)

I just found out that my entire reason for staying in Gettysburg isn't happening.

Both of my summer academies for the ELC have officially been canceled. This means I'm losing awesome teaching experience AND 900 dollars. Mainly angry about the first part, since I have three other jobs to help with the monetary issues... But still. Money is kind of a big deal this summer since I will be attempting to do the real life thing come September. Oh well, at least I have those last two weeks in July free now?

... Guess this means I can technically go to Otakon, though it would be sans costume and I'm not sure who out of my friends will be going. Guess I'll have to pull out some of my old awesome costumes if I go. I can't really bring myself to do no costume.

I had a feeling this was going to happen. The feeling was confirmed when Tenney IMed me about it and I checked my e-mail. Not exactly what I wanted to see.

Hearing back for an interview would be awesome this week. Might make my summer a little happier.

In other news, ghost tours are silly jobs when there is drama. I hope the drama has lessened in my days off.

It does not bode well when it is already a bad day at 10:30...

Well, I have a lot of fun things planned for today, so hopefully it will only get better.

Summer vacation has fallen into a lull. Work is going well enough, though I really need one more of my jobs to start up. Right now I find myself wasting time in some inane ways.

Ghost tours are still enjoyable, which is good. The campus internet connection still sucks, which is bad news for playing NWN. That hasn't stopped me from trying, but it goes make the game less lovable when I can't fight, party, or level. Oh well, hopefully the campus D&D group will remedy the gaming need -- unfortunately my group isn't all on top of the communication thing. Looks like it might be a small campaign after all.

Applications in are under 10, but the process is getting faster. By Monday the count should be over 10. I feel like I'm still applying WAY early, but some feedback would be nice. I'll feel much better once I've landed an interview, but for now its panic attack fun. At least I have everything I need both in paper and electronic form, except for my actual certification. Dear PA, please hurry with that.

Gettysburg has been nice. Still doesn't feel like I've graduated. I imagine it will take moving off campus for that to happen. So a few more months of ignorant bliss, I guess.. .Or something like that. Part of me still wishes I were in NJ, especially after speaking with Professor Stebick yesterday... She mentioned that the elementary level summer academies are filling quickly, but the secondary ones are not. Guess who has two secondary academies? Bleh... If this falls through I will be a little peeved. This is my entire reason for staying in Gettysburg.

I've been reading quite a bit and catching up slowly on TV shows. Kelsey has me going through Buffy right now, which is nice. She also made a list of everything we need to watch this summer. I've been nerding a lot, which is nice. Also teaching myself how to crochet, which is going decently. I'm getting better, and might move onto double crochet stitch tonight if I'm feeling risky. We shall see.

I'm debating going home next week from Wednesday to Friday. I would really like to see some people in  NJ. I might start training for my second job on Wednesday, but... I'd still like to try. I think I need some Jersey in my life. No beach yet, but that will become a must soon. I got my fill of cold water diving during senior week. Hell, I still have tan lines.

I'm starting to feel a little bit of isolation that comes with summers at Gettysburg. Hoping to fix that before it becomes too much of a problem.

Right. I think that sums up life at the moment. Off to go watch more Buffy.

Twas an awesome birthday. Seeing Toad again was nice. I'm too tired to expand anymore. x.x goodnight.

No more putting life on hold. Starting tomorrow I am sending out dozens of applications, getting my stuff for Anne Arundel squared away, going to the bank to get my finances in order, unpacking my room, and making some long term plans.

It still hasn't hit that I've graduated. Nor that my birthday is in two days. This week has been surreal thus far. I think part of the problem is that I am still living in a Gettysburg dorm (which is awesome. Appleford = fancy pants summer housing). Also, only one of out my three (maybe four?) jobs has started.

Guess things are about to get crazy again... The few days of peace and rest were nice though. :)

Also, graduation was nice. Got to see a lot of family. I'm going to miss a lot of amazing people though.